The key to satisfying sex, according to 4 experts

The key to satisfying sex, according to 4 experts
What constitutes a good sex life is unique to you and will likely change throughout your life. Some sex experts share what, for them, is the key to satisfying sex.

Kamil Lewis: Especially for women, sex has been socialized as something you do as a requirement or necessity for the pleasure of others. For me, sexual pleasure is about breaking free from this idea. I think about safety: safety to say no and safety to say I'm not comfortable, but also safety to push your boundaries, to explore new things. Experience has a lot to do with communication. Being able to explicitly ask for things from a partner and develop language around what you like.

Shadeen Francis: Fight the urge to move out of your body and stop the thoughts. This might sound like, 'Is it taking too long? Do I look stupid? I have to stop—I don't want to be greedy.' These are all internalized messages that keep us from that place of pleasure. Sexual pleasure requires you to allow yourself to stop when you've had enough to feel good, not when you feel like you should be done.

Cheryl Fagan: Sexual satisfaction has a lot to do with how you show yourself emotionally. Sex can also be a reflection of the health of your relationship. What is happening outside the bedroom will affect what is happening in the bedroom.

Caroline Spigiel: We are so self-critical. We monitor ourselves closely. But to experience pleasure, you need to feel free and comfortable in your body and yourself. In itself, it's about masturbating and knowing what you like, what turns you on and what makes you feel good physically. With a partner, it's about getting comfortable with that person and knowing how you feel about each other. Bonding is the secret to satisfying sex.