When to start talking to your child about sex and what to say

When to start talking to your child about sex and what to say

Of course, sex educators are very important. And of course you are very lucky if your child attends a school that also offers sex education and counseling within the program.

Do not be afraid! Sex education does not only mean informing young people about safe sex, but first teaching them about the existence of abstinence. So not getting involved in sexual experiences, at least at an early age.

However, even if you are lucky enough to have your child receive information at an institution, the main responsibility for his or her education, even sexual, is yours.

Given this fact, the Huffington Post has asked sex educators about the most important issues parents need to discuss with their children, better early than late.

It is good to talk about sex, gender and sexual orientation

Start conversations about sexuality when children are young - say, 5 years old. So an age, before being exposed to sex online. You have an advantage if you start early. Younger children are much more tolerant of adults. Be sure to use language that includes all gender identities and sexual orientations. Every two months, revisit the topic by asking what they remember from the conversations or what they understand about sexuality.

No one has rights over your body, not even for a hug

Consensus, consensus and consensus only. We must teach children that they are masters of their own bodies and that no one has the right to touch them against their will. We must teach them that they too have no rights over someone else's body. It has nothing to do with sex alone, it's still too early for them. But they should know that even a hug needs approval.

These are the exact names of your body parts

It is very important for children to know the exact, scientific names of their sexual organs. This is important as a starting point for breaking taboos. Plus then it's important because it helps your child report more easily if someone has abused them.

Do not use porn as a model for real sex

The truth, though bitter, is that porn movies are the sexual 'educators' of children. For the simple reason, that access to pornographic material is easy. Therefore, the age of 9 is appropriate to show that pornographic films should not be the model of their sex life, that there are exaggerations. Exaggerations are both in the genitals and in the process. This point should be made clear to the child.

Sex is more than just a physical act

Lay out all topics related to sex: from identity and sexual orientation, to body image, self-esteem, boundaries and communication, healthy friendships, sexual violence, anatomy, hygiene, contraception, pregnancy and pleasure. The conversation about these topics starts or you can. It is never too fast. It does not always have to be embarrassing for everyone. Instead the child can get more information and clarify a scene he has seen somewhere on TV or on the internet.

It's very okay if they have questions about sex. Welcome at any time the child's questions about this topic

Contrary to popular belief, teens actually want to talk to their parents about these topics. This has been highlighted by various studies among young people.

Something that may seem ugly or strange to you may be normal to someone else.

"Iiii slandered us," someone said during a lesson on sexuality and genitals and public hair. It is important that the child is educated to look at these topics as normal and not to prejudice anyone who asks and talks.

* The Huffington Post article was adapted in Albanian by