Why Most Women Hide Their Sexual Desires From Intimate Partners
Many women feel embarrassed when they talk to their partners about sex and their sexual desires. Researchers point out the reasons that push women to hide their sexual desires.
Hiding sexual fantasies and failing to discover sexual desires are two completely different things. Sexual fantasies are things that inspire sexual arousal. However, just because someone is smart does not mean that they really want to shift the fantasy into reality.
A research participant (Wahl) said that his biggest fantasy, and the safest way to sexual arousal, was to think about catching his wife having sex with another man. In the script, he watched them have sex through a partially open door to the bedroom before he discovered them.
This is a crazy fantasy. However, he really did not want to catch his wife having sex with another man. It was pure fantasy. If he wanted this to happen, then it would be sexual desire. With sexual desire, one is motivated towards sexual behavior.
The unwillingness to reveal sexual desires is not limited to women, and yet, women are often at the center of discussions and research when it comes to forbidden attitudes toward sexual desire.
Sexual scenarios have long been that most women deny themselves about wanting sexually. Many women continue to believe that they have no autonomy in terms of sexual power, sexual self-expression, sexual pleasure, or even their orgasm. Focusing on women and their ability to communicate sexual desire was part of a study by Herbenick, Eastman-Mueller, Fu, Dodge, Ponander and Sanders.
Herbenick surveyed 1,055 women aged 18 to 70+ about sexual pleasure, orgasm and sexual communication. 55% of respondents reported that they chose not to talk about sex with their intimate partner, despite wanting it.
Reasons for this decision, which often limits sexual pleasure, include:
They do not want to hurt their feelings (42.4%)
Did not feel comfortable entering details (40.2%)
Shame on their part (37.7%)
They did not know how to seek what they wanted sexually (35%)
I did not want to look demanding (18.3%)
I did not feel it was important (17.9%)
Fear of rejection (11.7%)
I did not think the partner would understand (10.2%)
He did not want his partner to think they were "perverted" (10.1%)
You do not think that the partner cares about their satisfaction (7%)
The 18-24 age group showed significantly that:
They did not know how to seek what they wanted sexually
They were afraid of rejection
Discussing sexual desires did not matter as they were unsure that they would have another sexual encounter with the other intimate.
* Psychology Today article, translated and adapted into Albanian by Tiranapost.al