Guy Winch, a family psychologist who has been helping couples for more than 20 years, believes that happiness and satisfaction in a relationship depends on three key factors. Moreover, these factors are not instinctive and require learning and preparation. Skills need to be developed, which takes a lot of practice. His colleagues also talk about other habits that help couples stay satisfied with their relationships for many years. You can find them all here!
1. Compassion
Compassion is the ability to imagine yourself in someone else's shoes and to support or comfort them. Try to put yourself in your partner's shoes. Close your eyes and considering the character of the person and the circumstances in which he is, try to imagine how he must feel. Forget your opinion about the problem, try to understand the emotions of the other person. This will allow you to show empathy, which is very important for a happy and healthy relationship.
2. Emotional meaning
The previous point kind of leads to this point. Of course, during an argument, very few people ever say, 'You have a right to feel that way, and I understand that.'
3. Attention and courtesy
We all have a tendency to underestimate the importance of small acts of kindness and consideration. A vicious circle often appears in relationships: one partner shows that he is upset, the other does the same, and all this leads to a serious conflict. In this case, attention, such as a bouquet of flowers, a favorite chocolate, a delicious dinner or a hug, can help break the ice.
4. Partnership
Some couples get so used to each other that they start treating each other like roommates. And each person begins to live his own life. In this situation, some people often ignore the opinions of their partners when making a decision. And that's the worst thing you can do. This approach will most likely lead to frequent arguments and separation. To avoid this, you should make important decisions taking your partner's opinion into account. Because these decisions are likely to affect your and your partner's life.
5. Speculation
Don't try to read between the lines when your partner says something neutral or pleasant. In this way you are escalating a conflict that does not exist. Or a conflict that exists only in your head. Don't speculate in any situation, just ask your partner directly what they really meant.
6. Acknowledgments
Tell your partner how grateful you are at every opportunity that comes your way. You may not believe it, but these words are magic. Your partner will think that he or she is useful, needed, and will understand that you really do. And you will probably hear the words 'thank you' more, not only for something big, but also for normal things.
7. Don't take each other for granted
All relationships need boundaries, limits and responsibilities. And you don't have to take everything for granted in a relationship. To make sure that both partners are satisfied with a relationship, they need to work on it, learn to talk, learn to solve problems and make compromises. Don't take your partner's words or actions for granted. The partner will then do the same for you.
8. Gossip
Never say anything bad behind your partner's back. Talk to him and solve everything with him. You will agree, the words you said to others remain.
