By Catherine Pearson/ As a reporter covering sex and intimacy, I spend a lot of time listening to experts extol the virtues of open and honest communication. To have good sex—and to keep having good sex over time—couples have to be willing to talk about it, they say.
But some people would rather leave their relationship than have those conversations, especially if things aren't going well in the bedroom, said Jeffrey Chernin, a marriage therapist.
Chernin says those conversations can be stressful. Here are some suggestions that may help.
It may be possible to alleviate the horror if you treat them with sensitivity. When one partner says, "We need to talk, the other person feels like they're going to the principal's office."
Instead:
Focus on solving problems together.
That means saying something like, "I know how hard it is for us to talk about this, but we have to."
Then ask, "What can we do about it?"
Prepare questions ahead of time.
Such as "Our relationship is really important to me and I would like sex to be a part of it (again)".
Bring some positive things into the conversation.
Maybe you tell your partner you love it when they hug you or plan a romantic night on the town.
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